I didn't think Doug Liman could deliver a worse film than "Road House," the plastic, overwrought remake of the 1980s cult classic. With "The Instigators," his second film of the year, he manages to make Matt Damon, in a re-teaming from their Bourne days, so void of any charm that the director makes this among the actor's least crowd-pleasing offerings. This Apple TV heist flick is underwritten, dreary, tedious, inert, and without any stakes. I almost hesitate to write too much about it because this soulless dreck feels so unworthy of adding blemishes to the white page.
From the jump, the unfocused script by Casey Affleck and Chuck MacLean makes "The Instigators" a chore to watch. The retired Marine Rory (Damon) and an alcoholic Cobby (Affleck) are two stiffs thrown together with the hot-headed Scalvo (Jack Harlow) by local Boston crime boss Mr. Besegia (Michael Stuhlbarg) and Richie Dechico (Alfred Molina). The city's present mayor, the ruthless Mayor Micceli (Ron Perlman), is facing off against the underdog Mark Choi (Ronnie Cho). The two bosses think Micceli is going to win in a landslide like he always does. At his victory party, which requires a bribe for entry, there is bound to be plenty of money. The seemingly easy job, however, goes south when Micceli loses, leaving Rory and Cobby fleeing from the heist with nary any loot to show for their troubles.
The only worthwhile treasure is a chain belonging to Micceli containing the combination to a safe. The desperate mayor dispatches Frankie (Ving Rhames), a cop, to hunt down Rory and Cobby. The pair leap across the city, taking Rory's therapist, Dr. Donna Rivera (Hong Chau), hostage in the process. Despite the stacked cast, the premise is thin.
"The Instigators" commits the unconscionable sin of somehow underusing every one of its actors. Stuhlbarg charges in with a big accent, but, along with Molina, pretty much disappears a third into the film. Paul Walter Hauser appears briefly as a fixer while Toby Jones, playing the mayor's attorney, barely counts as background. Rhames merely broods. Pearlman sometimes yells. No one is a fully fleshed out character, including the film's two leads. While we're given some convoluted reasons why Rory and Cobby, respectively, need the money, those stakes aren't felt during the film. Instead, the script attempts a half-baked triangle between Rory, Cobby, and Dr. Rivera — Cobby and Dr. Rivera attempt to do some form of flirting, maybe? — that totally fizzles.
The film isn't attractive, relying on garish coverage. The needle drops are among the most perplexing I've ever heard. The lyrics to "Ball of Confusion," "People moving out, people moving in/Why, because of the color of their skin" soundtracks Rory and Cobby riding toward a pristine beach house (if this is a joke, Damon and Affleck do not sell it). "Downtown" jumpstarts a high-speed chase. "Jump Around" gives rhythm to a crowd of people chasing after money floating in the air a la Kubrick's "The Killing." The song choices lack coherency so much that they feel as though Liman forgot to turn the shuffle off on Spotify.
None of this is helped by Affleck simply being miscast. While his morose persona should work for the sullen, sarcastic Cobby, he just sucks the energy away from the script's banter. Neither Cobby nor Rory is particularly likable (or interesting for that matter). Damon tries to wield his usual charm, but it lands with a thud amid poorly conceived scenes and even worse rhythm between him and Affleck. In a better film, maybe, their dynamic would work. But in such a fatally flawed project, you come to wish Ben Affleck were opposite his good friend Damon. At least then we'd get some rhythm or some chemistry. Instead, this is a buddy film, made to mirror the absurdity of a Coen brothers flick, that lacks wit and amusement.
"The Instigators" takes zero pleasure in entertaining. The heists are not intriguing or attention grabbing, even the planning of them feels like more of an annoyance than an opportunity to enrapture. The spectacle is flattened under tawdry VFX. Car chases are poorly stitched together. Unsurprisingly, the bracelet is a yawn-inducing MacGuffin. The film contradicts itself, takes little interest in its characters, and appears to only desire to provide its audience a stiff nap. "The Instigators" arouses no memorable scenes, feelings, jokes or profundity. At most, it's a collection of moving images.
